Sorry? What did you say?

I said, ‘Looks like a nice evening.’ 

Oh I see. Sorry. I didn’t hear you. Ruddy police sirens…

Yes, they’re particularly noisy tonight. Are you local?

I will be. Actually, it’s quite funny… and sorry if I sounded a bit tetchy just then…

Oh yes? What’s that then?

Well, I thought you said something like, ‘You look like you’re seething.’ Which, funnily enough, I am!

Oh, right. Well yes, that is quite funny. Stood you up, has he? 

No, nothing like that. No, not at all.

Hmm. Methinks the lady doth protest too much. You’re looking at your watch a lot, though. 

Actually, it’s ‘The lady doth protest too much methinks’. And I like having a watch. It’s more accessible. Timeless. Pardon the pun.

Actually, I know the correct quote, thanks. But you’re definitely right about one thing, though. 

Oh yes? What’s that?

You certainly are tetchy!

What? I’m not the one striking up conversations with complete strangers…

Neither am I! I was just sitting here, minding my own business when an – if I may I say so – attractive woman floats by. So I simply decided to say hello. Sorry to offend… 

You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ve had a really terrible day. I’m not offended. Thank you for the compliment.

Ah, it’s OK. And it’s my pleasure.

Thanks. Look, I think I must be early. Mind if I sit down?

Not at all. Please take a pew. Here, I’ll just move my trowel. 

Great. That looks really great, by the way. Nice job. Tasteful. What is it?

Creeping thyme. It’s a perennial. Beautiful scent, too.

Wow. Creeping thyme. How apt.

Thanks. I wanted something that would evoke a sense of endless tranquillity. 

Admirable. Clever, too. Are you a gardener, then?

No, I’m just… visiting.

Right. First time here for me, actually. That’s why I’m anxious. It‘s been arranged for ages. At least, I thought it had. I feel badly let down.

I see…

Not in that way. Goodness me, you like jumping to conclusions, don’t you?

I’m only teasing. Strange place for a date though, surely? I mean, I like it here, but wouldn’t a pub or café be better? Or are you just using the graveyard as a shortcut?

No, not a shortcut. It had to be here. Oh, I don’t know. Perhaps I got the timings wrong. I wonder if I should go back and check…? Why are you here, incidentally?

Oh, just visiting my wife. It’s been almost three years, now… 

I’m really sorry to hear that. That’s tough. You must be very lonely. Hopefully, I’ll get to meet her…

I’m sorry – what?

Your wife. Hopefully, I’ll get to meet her. I’m new here, you see. I came straight from the accident. That’s where all the siren noises are coming from. This is my new home. It looks nice, though. Well tended. Would you mind planting something lovely on my grave, too, when I move in?